It’s been ten months since the tour ended and the live entertainment business was murdered by the pandemic. And nothing has changed.

Of all the industries affected, live arts and entertainment has been hit hardest, and has been prevented from restarting the most vehemently.

The “experts” have suggested that we may be able to restart the entertainment business and start having concerts and theatre shows again sometime in the fall of 2021 if the vaccination program is successful. That’s a mighty big IF, by the way. That means that it would be well into 2022 before things really get going and shows are built and rehearsed and able to book dates and routes.

It’s easy for those experts to tell those of us in the industry that is most affected by this pandemic to “just hold on another six–no nine…well, maybe twelve months”, from the comfort of their cushy taxpayer funded government jobs when they have not missed a single paycheck during the past ten months of Hell. And it only shows just how out of touch they are with the world in which they live. These “experts” are scientists, of course, scientists that study and deal with viruses and infectious diseases.

The problem with science is that is exists in a vacuum. It exists by itself and devoid of interaction with the rest of the world in which we live. When a scientist studies a topic they focus narrowly on that one single item with little to no regard for anything else that they determine to not be affected by that one problem. In order to properly study a topic in science you have to discard anything that doesn’t directly affect the topic you are working on. The world is simply too big to take into account the infinite variables that can affect every topic of study.

And therein lies the rub: Humans exist in a world full of infinite variables, not in a cold sterile vacuum. We live, eat, breath, and interact with each other in that noise that is filtered out by science in order to study the one single topic that it focuses on so intensely.

Music and art is the physical expression of the human soul. It is the link between the physical and spiritual worlds and transcends the limitations of this physical corporeal existence that we call life.

Anyone who has played a music will instantly understand the deep and often breathtaking spiritual connection that occurs between two or more musicians when they are playing together. It is a level of spiritual elevation that is achieved in no other way in this physical world. If you haven’t played a musical instrument before, it’s near impossible to express this connection and spiritual communication that occurs during this exchange.

Over the past ten months science has knocked humanity down, ground it’s neck into the mud and suffocated the very soul and spirit of the human race to within inches of it’s life. Our musicians and artists have been forbidden from playing together. Our elders have been locked away in jails and forbidden from seeing their friends and families. The lives and careers of tens of millions of artists and musicians have been sacrificed on the alter of the false god that is science. And we’ve been forced to stay home and let our brains rot away on the mindless drivel of streaming the latest steaming pile of crap that masquerades as movies and television these days.

That’s no way to live.

When this pandemic was raging in the spring and summer I told my wife, point blank, “if I get the corona virus, and have to be put in the hospital, I absolutely DO NOT want to be put on a ventilator.” Because the use of a mechanical ventilator permanently damages your lungs and diaphragm, I knew that if I went on one I would never play the saxophone again. To me that was a fate worse than death. And I didn’t want it.

Luckily, when I did catch the corona virus and the resulting COVID illness in late October, it was mild enough that I didn’t need to go to the hospital. Really I’ve had colds that were worse, and fevers from tick born illnesses that were higher. And my lungs have recovered sufficiently on their own that I can now play the saxophone again at the level that I could before getting sick.

So where am I now?

Standing at the precipice of the most severe and gut wrenching decision I’ve ever had to make.

Over the past ten months I’ve lost well over $60,000 in income. I will lose at least as much in 2021. I’ve lost a year and a half of my career. I’ve slipped in and out of depression multiple times. I’ve been kicked out of the unemployment system for over four months now. I’ve become bitter and angry and have let my frustration with the lack of government help consume me. And I’ve lost what little faith I ever had in our government’s ability to affect real change in the lives of people. And in a sick and twisted irony, I have all the time in the world to play music now, but no one to play it with.

It should be all too apparent to everyone by now that our leaders are totally and completely incompetent, incapable of affecting positive change in the lives of the people they represent, and are totally and 147% out of touch with the real world. I don’t know why anyone would ever expect anything different from our elected and appointed leaders. They are politicians after all and they are incapable of feeling empathy or concern for anyone except themselves. They rank somewhere between algae and cockroaches on the evolutionary ladder.

For the last 25 years, I have dedicated my life to the arts. I’ve played music. I’ve recorded music. I’ve mixed music. I’ve even taught music and tried to help others learn to record and mix music. My life has been focused on helping to strengthen that bridge between the physical and spiritual worlds that only art and music can provide.

And now I’m about to give it all up and walk away from it for the rest of my life. Like so many others I won’t make it to next fall for the arts and entertainment business to come back. Our lives, careers and the very lifeblood of the human race sacrificed on the alter of science.

So I stand here at the precipice of making the hardest and most severe decision of my life. With one foot already off the cliff, do I push forward? Or do I retreat?